I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
