i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
