would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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