no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
