Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
