My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
