I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize