nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
