So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We had to coat check the pizza.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
