I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
