I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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