This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
