I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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