I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize