69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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