I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
