so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
