I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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