No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
