Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
