oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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