I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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