i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
