I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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