okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
