she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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