He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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