i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I have post one night stand depression
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
