Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
