I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
