I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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