i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
