he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
