I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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