Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
