is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
