Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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