Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
