even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
