i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
