im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
