So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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