he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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