return my video game
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
