im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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