I have demons in me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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