My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
