Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
