God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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