I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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