I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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