whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize