Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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