i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
