i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
