I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
