He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
