Pappa wants mamma naked
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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