I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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