You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
