So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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