I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
