508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
