How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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