What a fucking waste of an outfit
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
