I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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