SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
