talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
