I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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