we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
