She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
