dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
cat food counts as protein by the way
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
