I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
