underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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