I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
