What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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