Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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