i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
